i have smth to say so i’m saying it.

To appreciate is to attempt to hold open hearted space to unlearn – even though we come from a culture that is lost, defensive and naive.

To appreciate culture is to learn – journey – devote oneself to the realm of that reality. Which is unlike our own and thus offers perspective – perception that enables a realization of self. We don’t know where we’ve been standing until we leave and look at it from a different point. 

The point is there are many points – that are pointless when attempted to be understood from what we are already rooted in. Skepticism of believing something that may not be “true” is an illusion hiding how deeply we unconsciously experience the world as we are. To let go of reality as we know it and to surrender to an immersion of new logic is a little akin to rebirth. Beginning in death – destruction – a soft ground of curiosity where fear too is rendered unknown. 

To appreciate culture is to take the time and energy to sit with the grief. “History” is a story within stories and without stories – Beautiful and painful. Why did patterns repeat until they became traditions? What was the struggle that drove the becoming? An emphasis on origin and ownership of the “originality” is a value rooted in colonialism and capitalism. These communal entities we serve day to day both intentionally and systematically have not and will not always be powerfully underlying forces. But their Empire is here now. Part of sitting with the grief of cultures is the pain of reckoning with our complicity in assimilation and continued apathy. 

America is a hodgepodge of things taken under a European colonialist mindset – while ignoring the screams of the many – beginning with the Indigenous earth and her people. Classifying difference as savagery scapegoats anf solidifies prestige. White supremacy is pristinely upkept through wilful ignorance. The choice of oblivion and “innocence”. It makes sense that we are obsessed with belonging and identity. We are literally built on land we do not know. And our bodies remember the repression and brutality numbing our collective humanity and empathy. 

In a society riddled with ridicule and degradation, we have become fragile, maladjusted, isolated. The bully is hurting in all of us. For some reason, the person left more broken is pitied and the flippancy of dismissal is seen as strength – we are afraid and unable to give a fuck. Vulnerability comes at a cost we stake higher and higher. The struggle to responsibly hold emotional and mental (psychological) wellbeing makes sense. To say “I don’t care” is a safe choice that lets it all slide off. It is the choice to give up our choice, our desire, our life. 

How foreign, how tender – it must feel to honour ourselves and each other and to breathe in the silence and reverence of a ceremony. To allow ourselves to be led, transformed, shifted. Without feeling as if loss of “control” is an attack. To “heal” is not to indulge in ease but to hold the pain and alchemise it. Ritual is respected in most cultures – there is much to learn, and it is okay if it is harder for us.

To appropriate. 

(v) to take, make use of 

To use something-someone is to see the earth as interchangeable resource. Upholding our image of independence and sufficiency by ignoring the interconnected web. Distant and industrial it may seem, especially when we ourselves feel like replaceable cogs in a machine – we must remember that everything is alive and we are in relation to each other. When things become transactional – it loses qualitative value and meaning. When things are taken – we lose the pricelessness of being given blessings, and the journey of receiving them. 

When we dismiss connection and reciprocation as unnecessary and inefficient, we have prioritized our own usefulness above our presence. A negation of inherent worth – an existence that must be productive – success like product. Not experience. 

When lookalike indigenous headdresses are worn in high fashion to capture attention – we have missed a deep opportunity to educate ourselves and each other. Collaboration and mergence with native artists/leaders was not seen as a vitality, or perhaps not known as an option. We always have the chance to seek out people who can comprehensively honour the wisdom of our ancestries and spirit of our doings. And through our creations, destructions, and digestions, we may realise we have become one of those people too.

As artists we know our art is always up to interpretation. But I question the separation and the readiness to surrender our own found meaning. The process is most often forgotten, and perhaps in a feedback loop we allocate less and less energy into discovering and storytelling. After all, it is the tangible result that is quantifiable and distributed. Transmuted into fiscal energy that is universally accepted. Money – a construct that has become a necessity. A translator that offers limitless expansion beyond liveable comprehension, and also distance and distortion. 

As we go about our day to day we are constantly cataloguing the turnings of the world in our own language – which sounds more or less the same as the people we talk to – but does not mean we are on the same page. Connotations build over lifetimes – and the unawareness of our inherent miscommunications lead to unintentional hurt that is taken as if it were intentional. Because we believe we are saying the same word. 

But a word is just a sound trying to capture the ephemeral. Speaking formed from a desire to communicate – not for “truth”. 

Misinterpretation implies a correct interpretation – which I believe is valuable if we are able to submerge ourselves in the “language” of the speaker. As in we have missed each other but we are both doing the work to retrace and find the breakage in philosophy. This is where I am coming from. No – it’s not the same as yours – who are you? Where does it hurt? How do you love?

For example – This perspective is rooted in my personal beliefs of infinite truths. 

But many times under the umbrella of “misinterpretation, miscommunication, misunderstanding” is a lack of interaction. Time was not taken to question and observe the grounds being stepped on. Then as they are used as footholds for personal gain, we stumble on foreign pathways, and blame the earth for retracting – when it is us – that never opened ourselves to the humility of exploration. To be wrong is framed as devastating. Within those frames it becomes true. So step out.

When we fail to look our inspirations in the eye and ask for guidance – it could be a sign of a flustered ego moving too fast. The attachment has been established on a label of achievement and it is harder to surrender to the learning. It is one of the most difficult things to let go of expectation and offer ourselves as vessels for the life – creativity – soul – ambiguous unnameable that sustains us. 

If we have the ability to take – there is no one who can stop us. This may feel like power, and to push back against the resistances may feel like overcoming challenges of a great mission. But if we are choosing not to listen, maybe we feel unable to hear something different. Like it could break this. 

But we must pull our defences down – lest they become attacks on the ones who come close regardless because they love us. To offer critique is an expensive offering that is often rejected. And honest, fearless advice is rare. It is in our best interests to seek it out from as many facets as possible. 

By holding our fear of rejection – we empower ourselves to ask for gifts from all faces of the universe. To take because you can is to piggyback on privilege. There is nothing to grow from when we act with greed. “More” is equivalent to dilution. You too will grow resentful, 

This is why Miley Cyrus found little success with trying to embed elements of hip hop and rap in an attempt to be cooler. She disregarded and looked down upon what she was trying to use to lift herself up. Perhaps she was not fully aware of this. Maybe she continues to choose not to be. The end of her involvement could be tied up pretty in a public apology – and mean nothing to any party involved. 

A dissolution of guilt, a reparation – can also be pointless and disappointing.